Men With Two Faces

    The word for hypocrite in the New Testament was used by the Greeks to describe a thespla, one who merely played a part. He was not the person he played, but he played the part of that person. In the Greek plays, an actor changed parts by merely putting on a different mask. In life we can change parts by the same process, by putting on a different face.

   Everybody has problems with hypocrisy, namely because it's easy. We have very pliable faces. They can be changed instantaneously as the moment dictates. Just raise an eyebrow and give am impression that may serve the moment, but which can do irreparable damage to someone's reputation or character.

   Non-verbal communications is no less communication than the spoken variety. It can leave whatever impressions you want it to. That means when you're accused, you can respond by saying, "I didn't say that." Did you verbalize it? No. But did you say it? Yes, you said it.

   Innuendo is verbal hypocrisy. Innuendo is from a Latin word that meant, "to hint at." It is an indirect way of making a statement without really saying it. It will tell some of the truth, but only that part which is intended to serve a certain purpose. In short, innuendo is subtle insinuation. Attorneys use the term to describe a plaintiff's interpretation in a libel suit where slander is involved. The root from which the Latin word is derived means "to nod." Does that say anything?

   Incidentally, the Latin word for insinuation comes from a root which meant "a curve." A curve, pitched in the right manner, can easily disguise that real "pitch."

   We can profit reading what James had to say about this in James 3:8-10: "But the tongue can no man tame: it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be.

   Several things stand out in this warning against hypocrisy in communication. It says that the tongue is an unruly evil. Actually, the tongue has no method for evil of itself; it does what the mind says. The beginning place for conquering this tendency to poor use of the tongue, then, is with the mind. Conquer the thinking and the tongue has no fodder for burning.

   When the mind is bent in a certain direction, the tongue will follow. For instance, if you don't particularly like a fellow or how he does things, the tongue is ready to help. It is apt to articulate your dislike. Even in conversations it may well creep out in disguised statements or disarticulated mutterings and declare what the mind is, protected if there is a resultant controversy.

   To guard the tongue is hard business. It takes courage, determination, and constancy. It takes courage, because James compares the tongue a wild, un-domesticated animal. It can appear to be controlled and suddenly revert to the wild things. It takes determination because it is easier to allow it to be a subtle accuser but all the while covertly. It's really easy to hurt folks you don't care for. Actually, it's hard not to. Moreover, it's a constant battle. Just when you think you've conquered it, it breaks loose. If you're in the company of someone who relates some good about someone you don't like, better watch out -- your tongue is poised and ready to attack.

   The illustration used by James is simple, but powerful. How can we use the same tongue to bless God and curse those who are made after the image of God? It's a good question. God loves everybody and makes His sun to shine on the good and the evil. If we would be like Him, we must learn to do the same. James implies that you do that with a proper management of the tongue.

   And the improper use of the tongue is never limited to just what is said or insinuated. Often the kindling ignites a great conflagration. A small remark can eventuate in a full-blown controversy. How many problems have proliferated because some one used his tongue in an insinuatory manner or made some disguised attack on someone?

   We best take notice of our ability to disguise, camouflage, masquerade (from which we get "mask"), or pretend. It's dangerous.

   It makes it easy to transfer guilt. "It's not my fault he took it the wrong way," "I can't be blamed for how he took that."

   It makes it easy to tolerate lies. We wouldn't tolerate a lie, would we? Well, would we? It's easy to do when it doesn't really feel like a lie.

   Brethren should be careful about insinuations, innuendo and other subtly disguised remarks. They hurt. They damage. They destroy. They blunt influence and discourage useful reputation. The use of these methods is as much sin as open lies; they're just disguised, harder to spot. Nevertheless, God knows.

Dee Bowman ~ In Gospel Power 5/4/97

     Let us start our study by reading from Genesis Chapter 2, verses 21-24. "And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, 'this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man'. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh".

   This passage tells us that God instituted and approved of the marriage of one man to one woman. God has not seen fit to change this arrangement. Marriage is a lasting relationship, which must be entered into with much thought and preparation. God has left the method of selecting a mate up to the individual.

   The pattern of dating; then going steady; followed by engagement and finally marriage has developed in this country. Too often, insecure teenagers find a person with whom they can be comfortable and mistake this feeling for love. Going steady and cleaving to each other seems to naturally follow this mistaken feeling in many cases. However, going steady may be a dangerous bridge between dating and engagement. When a man decides to take one woman and cleave to her, the two are to be married. The practice of deciding to go steady too quickly, has robbed America's youth of a privilege that God has allowed.

   Please do not allow yourself to enter into this social trap that can put you in a relationship so filled with temptation that you may not be able to endure. Too often, premarital sex is one of the unfortunate results of going steady. Sadly, American sociologists seem to approve of intimate sexual contact by couples going steady. In Galatians Chapter 5, however, God condemns sexual relations outside of marriage along with drunkenness, witchcraft, and murder.

   After it is too late, many married couples realize that their insecurity has led them to make a tragic mistake. In Luke Chapter 14, verses 28-29, we read: "For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Lest haply, after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him". It may be in your best interest to date several different people before you decide whom you wish to marry.

   Allow me to use this illustration: A man brings you a large container filled with diamonds of various values. You are told to pick one and only one. You have as much time as you desire. However, after you make your choice, there will be no chance to exchange it for another one. Would you be so foolish as to hurriedly reach in and grab the first diamond, or would you take your time and examine all of the precious stones. If you carefully selected the one that was most precious to you, no one would be able to persuade you that you had made a bad choice.

   In counseling young married couples, I hear the same story time and time again. Many have been like the foolish man who grabbed the first diamond. They now realize that they were misled and made a hasty decision with which they must live for the rest of their lives. Most tragically, many of these marriages end in divorce. If God's pattern is followed, marriage will result in happiness and fulfillment, not regret and sorrow. Don't let your own insecurity rob you of a free and happy youth, which God intended you to have. ?   

   To illustrate a point, a teacher once brought a vase full of beautiful one stem red roses to class. He selected the most stately, flawless rose from the bouquet and presented it to his students with instructions to examine the rose carefully and completely. "Be sure to experience the softness in its delicate pedals and enjoy the delightful fragrance," he urged. After the students' careful scrutiny, the rose, now somewhat tattered and worn, was returned to the bouquet. Because the students had done such an excellent job of inspecting and admiring the elegant qualities of the rose, the teacher decided to reward each student with a rose to take home. The teacher passed the vase around the room and asked each student to choose a rose to take home with him. Each student carefully selected a beautiful rose that was fresh and undamaged. Guess which rose was left in the bouquet after the selections were made? That's right, it was the rose that was handled by every student in class. The teacher placed the vase with its lone, tattered, frayed rose back on the table.

   So, what is the lesson? Most of you have already connected the dots by now, but just to make sure we are all on the same page, the lesson is about dating. Young people are much like roses in a bouquet. A young person who will allow herself to be handled, passed around, caressed and fondled by every suitor she dates will end up like the shabby rose. Everyone want to hold and caress it, but no one wants to take it home. Don't allow yourselves to be mistreated. Respect yourself and your body by refusing to be "pawed-on" and demeaned by others. Like the well worn rose, when the experience is over, you will be left in the vase, tired, used, and all alone. When it is time to select a mate, they will want to take home a fresh, untouched flower.

   Keep yourselves chaste, pure for God and your mate. We should want to be pure like the church when she is presented to Christ, her bridegroom. II Corinthians 11:2 "...that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ." Stand by your lofty principles, save your hugs and kisses for the one you will marry. An added benefit for this chaste behavior is that you will find your dates will actually be fun and accomplish the purpose courtship is designed to fulfill - that being an opportunity to get to know one another and determine if this is the person you would want to spend your life with. If you are having to negotiate "wrestling maneuvers" on your dates then all you will really know about your prospective mate is their physical ability to protect you and a future family from attacks by Octopus should ever the need arise. Strive to be chaste and not chased!